life hurts so much

My life is falling to pieces. I have just lost my true best friend, Someone i have cared about for awhile now, All i do in life is fuck up, I care so much for everyone and all i do is get hurt in return, I find it so hard to trust anyone after what has happened to me in my past but i trusted him so much and always will, I just want him back in my life, I was always happy when he was around. I laughed cause of him. Smiled cause of him, But then everytime he likes a girl, its like he throws me away like im nothing, i have always been there for him, anytime he needed me and always will be, cause thats the sort of person i am. Always helping. Im so loyal, i have to big a heart. Im laying in my bed thinking of you, crying. Just had a fight with my sister too,